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Today’s Pokémon Direct introduced us a slew of Pokémon Scarlet and Violet information, and naturally inside that have been glimpses of some freshly revealed Generation IX monsters. The stand-out being the inexplicable Fidough, a cute little pet that’s seemingly…raw bread?
So what will we find out about this carb-based lifeform? We know they’re from the Paldea area, that they’re Fairy sort, and maybe most of all, we may be certain they’re an excellent boy.
Except. “Fidough’s moist, easy pores and skin has elastic qualities and is each agency and smooth on the similar time,” begins the chill-inducing description in Nintendo’s official press launch. No. No no, not “moist,” by no means “moist.”
Today’s presentation described it as, “delightfully squishy Pokémon which are easy to the contact.” There’s nothing I like about that sentence both. They sound like these Squishies toys that have been a short-lived rage a couple of years again. Are they scented, too? Can you squish all of them up tiny and so they re-expand? Or would that knock all of the air out of a Fidough, and also you’d have to go away it to show for an additional hour and a half?
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The press launch continues (and I warn you, it does not get higher), “When these Pokémon turn out to be excited, they intimidate their opponents by puffing up their our bodies to seem larger. Fidough ferments issues in its neighborhood utilizing the yeast in its breath. The yeast is helpful for cooking, so this Pokémon has been protected by individuals since way back.”
What the precise. It simply ferments stuff? Because of…due to the yeast…in its breath? That’s…that’s thrush. This pet has thrush.
Look, I can’t faux to be OK with edible-looking Pokémon. Last time we ended up with the delicious-looking LeChonk, a pig-like ‘mon that will go effectively in…effectively, it will go effectively in a freshly baked Fidough, proper? Hot-diggity-dog.
It’s solely been a bit over an hour after the newest trailer, however already the pup is proving to be successful with fan artists who’re enthusiastic about Fidough. Perhaps they don’t know in regards to the yeast?
We additionally discovered at the moment in regards to the Paldean Form Wooper, which lives on the land, and, um, “covers its physique with a toxic movie.” It’s swapping Water sort for Poison, whereas preserving Ground, this model purple as a substitute of blue, and with bone relatively than spine-shaped appendages poking from its head.
And there’s Cetitan, an angry-looking Tera Whale Pokémon, Ice sort, who seems to concentrate on hefty bodily assaults, utilizing the horrendously-named Thick Fat and Slush Rush talents.
I’m sorry for those who got here right here for protection of the unbelievably cute-looking bread-dog, and as a substitute obtained the information that it’s each “moist and easy”, and suffers from an oral yeast an infection. This isn’t my accountability. I simply report the details.
