After weeks of hypothesis, Resident Evil Village’s artwork director lastly gave the web what it wished: tall vampire girl’s precise peak. Tomonori Takano politely summed up the tidal wave of thirst trapping that’s washed over videogames Twitter since mid-January as an “outpouring of positivity.” There’s been NSFW fanfiction, redditors politely requesting that she steps on them, and Google Trends confirms that individuals are already looking for Lady Dimitrescu porn. Hell, I bought ten seconds into scrolling the Resident Evil subreddit earlier than seeing the phrases “dommy vampire mommy”.
Still, I don’t suppose anybody was ready for simply how tall Lady D truly is. Her official peak, with heels and hat, is 9 foot and 6 inches… 9′6″. That’s perilously near the intercourse quantity.
But you’re all lacking the purpose on this one. Just take into consideration all the things she can reach! Face to face, the typical man would discover himself gazing Lady D’s stomach button. When you think about standing reach, she can get her fingertips a whopping 12′6″ within the air (and that’s earlier than including her Wolverine-like retractable claws). Naturally, all this bought us questioning about what else Lady Dimitrescu can reach. Here’s what we discovered…
steal eggs from the nest of any chook within the tit household
Imagine Lady Dimitrescu’s sinister grin however there’s yolk, tufty feathers, and shards of eggshell dripping down her chin. That’s bought to be a fetish, proper? While avian nesting heights can differ considerably, Lady Dimitrescu would be capable of reach into even the best nest of any chook within the tit household and snatch the eggs inside.
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Other birds, particularly birds of prey, sometimes nest too excessive, however there’s an opportunity Lady D might discover a low woodpecker nesting gap or maybe prey on some screech-owl hatchlings if she fancied one thing with a extra ferrous, gamey flavour.
wash the roof of a Hummer
Do you ever get decrease again ache from washing dishes in a kitchen sink that’s just a bit bit too low for you? Lady Dimitrescu would expertise this gentle discomfort when washing a Hummer, one of many tallest vehicles you can purchase. While the Hummer H2 looms over even Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lady Dimitrescu must lean down simply to scrub the roof. Advantage or drawback? Gift or curse? You be the decide.
SLAM DUNK WITHOUT TIPTOEING
And she’d barely be reaching. Seriously, a regulation basketball hoop is ten ft tall, so our towering mistress wouldn’t even be straining to position the ball by the ring. We don’t know an enormous quantity about Castle Dimitrescu, however we sincerely hope it has a basketball court docket so Lady D can dunk all of her victims on it.
pat a giraffe on the again
A male giraffe is round 18 ft tall, so there’s no likelihood that Lady Dimitrescu might give it a chin scratch. However, she would be capable of pat it on the again. In truth, if Lady D bought a operating begin she may even be capable of vault straight onto an unsuspecting giraffe and tame it. There’s a neat psychological picture.
change a lightbulb in a Georgian townhouse
In case you didn’t know, PCGamesN is predicated in Bath, a British metropolis recognized for its Georgian structure. Ceilings in Georgian townhouses are very tall, typically between 12 and 14 ft excessive, which makes altering gentle bulbs in a rented flat extra scary than something Resident Evil Village has to supply. Lady Dimitrescu must stretch a bit of, however she would discover it a lot simpler than setting up a staircase of books like I as soon as needed to.
If the concept of a 9-foot vampire girl intrigues you as a lot because it did us, you can pre-order Resident Evil Village on the Fanatical retailer immediately.